Oedipus Revisited!!

Why ???

This shameless female feline domesticus only seeks my attention when she knows I am otherwise occupied!!!

Get out of my way!! Please? Pretty Please? With sardines??%%%(^^8- I don't want to resort to violence!!!!!

The Shame of Silence of Shame!

I've just been tagged by Musings--- She's such a good sport, and it really is thought-provoking so here goes!


1. Write the title to your own memoir using six words.
2. Post it on your blog.
3. Link to the person who tagged you.
4. Tag five more blogs.

Will say no more about the title, still wrestling with Silence!
I don't think five people read my blog, but here goes~

Couch Potato
Still At It
Shout
Through the Fire of Life
and YOU!

One of These "Things" is not like the others...one

of these things just doesn't belong!!! Last Monday we met halfway at the zoo to spend some quality time together--- Mike , Rebecca, Alex and Madison from Halifax-- and Frank, myself, Austin, and Lexy from Yarmouth-- Just as Rebecca was getting all the kids in position,, a "chocolate ice-cream eating" boy ran over to get in on the act!

We thought it was hilarious-- joyful abandon of being a child, unguarded restraints and inhibitions--wouldn't it be funny if we adults dared to be more ------ childlike?

The Oedipus Complex

Just an innocuous spray bottle of water on my bedside table – a symbol of the semi-symbiotic relationship between Oedipus and myself----Same ritual every night--- she claws madly at the edge of the mattress, (just out of arm’s reach) tearing at the fibres, announcing her arrival---
Too far away to swat, I wake up fit to be tied, reach for the trigger, already aimed at the mutilated section of mattress, and let loose an angry stream of lukewarm water—she tears out of the room , four feet scrambling to gain a toehold against the smooth laminate wood floor,,,,, then meekly turns around, pounces on the bed by my face and mews gently as if we had not just been engaged in mortal combat!! I play along with this charade by patting her lovingly, then assured of my wakefulness, she picks at the sheets until they are just right for sleeping—again, just slightly out of my reach! This happens at least four or five times each night.. Frank says we should just close the bedroom door------BUT----
I don’t want to hurt her feelings, she is super sensitive, and I am honoured to be her chosen significant human, thankful for whatever tidbits of affection she throws my way!!

Of Tulips and Trailers

I promised him when we sold Winnie, this is IT-- we'll never get another one--the same words I had spoken the previous year aftr selling Shamrock-- I mean well-- just can't justify seeing all that money sitting in the driveway for fifty weeks of the year,,, so after the KEDJI-camping desire is sated,,, the need for cash kicks in....

But he should have known--as perennial as tulips in May, forcing their way through the hardened earth after a long, cold winter---so emerges the recurrent, innate urge within me to think about those two weeks of camping!!! aND THE IMPELLING ACTION WHICH ENSUES!

So it's only an 8 ft, box,, something our small Toyota can pull(when we get a towing package), so what if there's no stove or fridge-- we have that little propane camping stove and a five day cooler (as long as you don't open it)--- good price-- only three years old-- seemed to be calling our name!! Perfect for our needs--and I promise I won't want to sell it because there's not a lot of money invested in it!!

(trust me !!!)

Feeling satisfied after writing the check,, until the salesman said "Just goes to show, you can sell anything to anybody if the price is right!"

Phew!!!

I made a conscious decision to focus on the positives-- the wondrous bounties my children and theirs have brought me-- Philip was already here, having spent the night so his "I love you, mom" started the day off perfectly-(actually afternoon,, I slept in) Mike called from Halifax-just knowing he and his family are within driving distance makes everyday special--- Jennah brought Lexy over, bearing much appreciated luxury bath items! Seeing the love between her and Lexy is so gratifying and fulfilling, words can't describe! Jeremy came by with flowers---I didn't want a repeat performance of last year's complete breakdown when he hugged me!! So I steeled myself for his embrace, and just savoured the feeling of love---- Jason had phoned earlier in the week from Alberta,, and Austin had spent the night before at our house--- I got through--but today my "muscles" ache from the effort of trying not to focus on the one who got away!! I love all you guys so much,, thank you for bringing so much joy and happiness to my life--- you are my life----

Addicted to What???

Nicotine??? So far have fought that one successfully for two years--still feel like a smoker though------ Alcohol??? --no,, can live happily without booze--- Drugs?? NO, can't even swallow a pill without having it crushed!!

Would you believe I can't resist buying COOKBOOKS? and everytime I go to school,,, sure enough the salesman has left a new supply, tempting me, beckoning me to buy---- saying "This might just be the one that will turn you into a bonafide gourmet cook!" "I'm the book you can't live without!! BUY ME,, BUY ME!!"

I have shelves of cookbooks with thousands of virgin recipes-- so much uncharted territory,,, and still,,, I cook the same things over and over-- Kraft Dinner, Shepherd's Pie, Goulash---and now that the nest is empty,,, cooking has become a rare occurrence!! I even have four cookbooks on my bedside table--Yes, I READ them at night---- always thinking that just maybe, tomorrow will be the day!!

You should see my exercise video/cd collection--and all the fitness equipment! (in the barn)

Tsunami Aftermath

I believe in the power of prayer-- I've experienced the power in cataclysmic, life-changing ways-- so I've been waiting--for something----there were prayers for Chris in our living room-in Ethiopia-- in India--so I've been waiting---

Today whilst walking in my new LARGE sneakers-- I felt a slight shift, a gentle tug,

An image of two kites, soaring high, their strings inexorably linked, sometimes flailing wildly toward the ground, even crashing now and then,,, but today I felt a release--- the string seemed longer and the kites more stable in their flight --

I let go the torment of not knowing -- It's okay-- the hows and whys don't seem to be dragging me down so much, and as for justice--- that belongs to God!

Our souls are so strongly linked,,when I feel myself headed into the abyss of grief-- the knowledge that I'm taking him with me stops the descent-

I still have a firm grasp on the handle, letting him fly alone is not an option, and yes there is a tail of remorse and guilt,,, but...we're flying higher and he's less entangled! Make sense??

What Price, Vanity??

Yes, I know I've worn size nine footwear since the age of thirteen,, but every now and then 81/2 seems to work just fine so--- of course my first instinct in answering the question,"What size do you wear?" was eight and a half,, with my fingers crossed!!

They seemed to fit snugly...albeit my toes were a little crunched,,, so I meekly uttered,,, maybe I should try the nine,, just for comparing-- not that my feet are really THAT BIG!!!

As I stood upright , each foot in a different size, brows furrowed, the handsome young clerk said,"Wiggle your big toes."

He then noted that the toe wiggling in the eight and a half seemed the perfect fit,, and the wiggly niner appeared too large-- much to my delight!! "But it's your call," he added!

Drat it!! What to do?? My toes knew perfecty,, but my head told my mouth to say, "I'll take the smaller pair."

Two days later, feet aching, whilst on a trip to a shoestore in Halifax with Mike and Family,, I spied the SIZER! (as if I didn't already know) Slipping my right heel against the metal frame, trying to find which of the trifocals to look through,,, Rebecca , peering over my shoulder, says NINE!

I knew it!! Now it's official--- can I find the receipt?? Search through the wallet, purse, recyclables for the plastic shopping bag, jacket pocket, shoebox, misc. garbage, car---NO RECEIPT!! This was a job for Super Frank-- to my rescue again---He had no problem making the exchange!! Phew--- hope you can't see the price I was almost willing to pay!!

Out of the Mouth of "Babes"

Of all the comments that day,, it was the one from the eight year old prima diva that sticks--- right through the heart--- she's the one all the other girls emulate and vie for her attention and approval-- the one who's absorbed all the lessons about self-esteem , being unique and female assertiveness,, a very self-confident and strong-willed female,, possessing all the virtues we try so hard to instill----

When I first walked into school on Friday, reactions were varied-- from "Did you do something different to your hair?" to "Oh!, you got your hair cut", followed by pregnant pause, to "I like your new hair style."

Then I walked down the long hall to the classroom , the same class I had been in all week, pretending not to notice the elbow nudges, whispering, and pointing, UNTIL-- Queen Bee--took one look at me , and unhesitatingly commented,

"Ewww!! I liked it better before. You look like an alien!"

It was the Simon Cowell comment effect---- the pure, brutally honest comment,, devoid of diplomacy or inhibitions-- the one that matters the most!!!

Not Quite Empty!!!

For the first time in our conjoined lives,, Frank and I find ourselves alone---excepting of course Billy the farting dog, and Stoopy and Oedipus, our anti-social felines--
The problem is ---- Now that we have all this alone time and space to do whatever we want,,, well,,, we don't really -----er,, uh,, oh yeah, my offspring may read this--- We don't even like the same tv programs--- I'm sure when we were first dating, the space channel wasn't on 24/7!!! It used to be more important to be together in the same room than watching our favourite programs---So on a typical evening, such as this,,, I'm in the bedroom watching reality television of some sort, and Frank is at the computer playing Luxor whilst Star Trek or some such alien show is keeping him company in the living room-- Gotta go watch Survivor!!!