Sometimes you forget..

Those rarefied moments-- upon waking, before realization sets in, or you see someone walking down the street and for a fleeting moment, you think,
"It's HIM!! "
Could be the red hair, the baggy pants, the stance, ..Sometimes I hear Philip playing guitar in his bedroom, the same bedroom, same sounds, and I think--
"He's back !!"
In the middle of the night, Billy barks, door opens, billy's barking changes pitch-- from warning to welcoming with tail wagging, just the way it did so many nights ago, and in my half-sleep, brain registers,
"He's Home!"
Now i can go to deep sleep-- no worries for another night !"
And it feels so good--like maybe it really was just a horrible nightmare--- that I will awaken from--- only for an instant---- but in that instant, my heart knows no bounds- then breaks all over again--- you wonder how something broken can keep on breaking---- it can-
Last night i searched all blogs for "Scallywags"-- a restaurant in Toronto, that Chris worked at five years ago--- and I found a picture, my heart skipped a beat, and I thought I had found him-- again--------
PS: Enlarge the picture, see what i mean?