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It started out a simple errand- go to Toot's for reading material- true crime- J was there with her spouse too- on a similar mission I presume- We lived a few houses apart during our teenage years, graduated high school the same year, travelled on the same school bus, became teachers, even worked in adjoining classrooms for a few years, never the kind of close friends who are involved in each other's lives on a regular basis, just familiar faces- always speaking, "Hi , How are you?" Usual commonplace socially acceptable conversation- meant to convey a feeling of friendlieness, warmth, yet superficial exchange- you know- Where,"How are you?" is not an opening in the dyke for you to let loose a flood of intimacies- you're not really supposed to share your fears, disappointments, worries, hurts , woes, for so casual an encounter---- But things have changed between the four of us(our spouses included) We belong to an exclusive club, whose cost of membership is beyond measure, a club we never wanted to be a part of and a club we pray you never experience - But our relationship has changed- we hug each other harder, no words are spoken, we just know--- and we make the same small talk, but it doesn't seem small anymore-- we have an unspoken bond , we recognize it in each other, and no one seeing us hug, really sees what we know-- we are forever changed-- and we really "see" each other------