Monday, July 10, 2006

Lotsa Action in the Matrimonial Bed !!!!


If you are an offspring of mine, you may not want to read this post- I know how the subject upsets children--- but----how did you think you were conceived??? Okay, Mike, that story I told you about the cabbage patch, wasn't true---or the aliens leaving you in our yard, or storks, or .......Okay, my children, stop reading now---because I 'm about to confess-- there's a lot of action going on in our bed----aside from the regular tossing, turning, kicking off blankets, the snore nudge, -----there has been a semi-regular activity -- I'm sound asleep, and suddenly, Frank jumps up in a flash, pounds on his chest Tarzan style, and is making the most terrifying choking sounds imaginable!!! I jump out of bed, and put into action the only first aid procedure I know---- "Frank!"" Trouble is, he's the victim, counting on me, to do what??? What are you supposed to do when someone has GERD-- I do the only thing I can think of, I wrap my arms around his chest and push up, a poor imitation of the Heimlich manoever---And I'm screaming, what should I do, what should I do--- Of course he can't answer, because that's the problem, he can't breathe!!!!___Obviously, since he's still here, he does eventually come out of it, with no help from me---and I can now write about it because I coerced him into getting his prescription filled- The doctor said if he quit smoking, stopped drinking coffee, and elevated the bed, the condition would ease--- working on number one------ As for other action in the bed--- My restless legs still twitch, bellies get rubbed (Billy's and Oedipus) and there are a lot of OOHs and AAHS---in agony------Frank's reaction to various bodily kinks--- oh yeah, Frank, there's a big wet spot on your side of the bed--- where I was bouncing Alexis after her dinner-- sorry!

8 Comments:

Blogger Fireguy said...

I think Frank will want to trade bed sides with that wet spot.

July 10, 2006 9:58 PM  
Blogger Mike said...

Mom.... Not happy with this post :) Too many mental images, and none of them ones I want. Love ya, but ...

I should have listened to your warning!!!!

July 10, 2006 10:23 PM  
Blogger NanNan said...

A new morning, and guess what-- it happened again last night-- scary- even Jennah came running upstairs- Maybe we'll have to do the elevating bed thing-- sorry Mike- I tried to stop you!!!!

July 11, 2006 9:13 AM  
Blogger Tuffysmom said...

I was almost afraid to read your blog, but I braced myself and forged ahead. hahahahahaha....although it's not funny for Frank. Jim used to do that too...but he got over it. I sure hope you can find something for him because it is very, very scary. You guys take care...love ya...Sis

July 11, 2006 10:10 AM  
Blogger kicking-and-singing said...

I've detremined that Unle Frank just likes to scare the crap out of people..that is my theory and I am sticking to it

July 11, 2006 2:24 PM  
Blogger NanNan said...

Well tammie, if that's his plan, it works for me!!!!!

July 11, 2006 10:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sue:
Your poor disillusioned children! First they thought they were found in the cabbage patch, and then were told aliens left them, and now they found out they are here all because their mother knows how to do the Heimlich manoever!!
They must be suffering from an identity crisis!! :))))
All kidding aside, it must have been scary....

CDR

July 11, 2006 10:23 PM  
Blogger NanNan said...

Got a good laugh from that one Diane---- love your comments--- I think along the way, they got it all figured out--- ;)

July 12, 2006 8:25 AM  

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